Time Travel and the Summer Solstice Ride.

When was the last time you had Lorna Doones? Or wondered who the heck was Lorna Doone, for that matter? 

I might have been convinced of time travel, except for the niggling little fact that on this Southwest flight, the Lorna Doones come in a 100 calorie pack.  

Surely, that's nothing Lorna ever cooked up.

I look at the ingredients and try to set them aside. Still, as the flight progresses, the feeling of time travel is as unavoidable as opening the pack and savoring every tiny bite of shortbread one at a time. 

With ginger ale.

A glance to the watch and I wonder if, back home, Atlantis is right now rising from the pad, or if the anticipated tide of tourists is receding from a scrub.  

Seems to me any nation willing to give up on space, is a nation one step closer to third world.
  
There is no sensation of motion hurling along at 29,000 feet in a bright blue 737.  There is however, a blur of slippery notions, sliding from nostaglic past to possible future and back again.

Although it may seem as if calling off a big chunk of our space program is a sign of sliding backwards, there’s really no going back to a time before mankind knew space flight was possible.  

Instead, it occurs to me that this launch finale may turn out to be a leap forward.  A giant leap toward a future nation of Idiocracy.*  Toward the kind of society where everyone knows how to screw in a light bulb, but no one knows how to make one.

A hundred calories of Lorna Doone shortbread doesn’t last long. The FA asks if we would like more to drink, perpetuating the notion of a different decade.

Time may be relative when it’s inside your head, but in the real world we do our best to measure it.  In sunlight travelling over the earth.  In the angle of the sun.  In planetary tilt.  And in summer, the passing of the solstice. 

Put in Idiocratic terms, the eve of the summer solstice gives you the most drinking time at Beef O Brady’s while waiting for the sun to set, at which time you can commence Semi’s Summer Solstice Ride.

Since we didn’t get it together for a June full moon circumnavigation of Lake Okeechobee, the invitation to join Semi on his Summer Solstice Ride, was particularly welcome.

It’s a Tuesday.  Ride start - 8pm.  I’m a little early.  Popeye pulls in from the Palm Bay ride, switches bikes, and switches shoes.  I hand over his lights and he is ready for his second ride of the evening.  I don’t even recognize Sauce as he pulls in, in his new truck with the big new dent.  Semi, Sauce, me, a total of 3 Matts including Popeye, plus a Dirty, and a Justin.  We are 8.  Not bad for a Tuesday turnout.

If you’ve been on a Melbourne safari in the daytime, I highly advise riding one in the dark.  It’s a whole ‘nother world out there.  Like a 50’s thriller, time travel to the dinosaur hour, or being on another planet.

Off road, in the dark, common Florida natives turn alien.

Five deer freeze in the glare of helmet lights.  Ten eyes stare back at us, glowing green.

Sticks and vines take on a prehistoric twist, with shadows to fool the eye.  In the flash of a camera, what I think is just a gnarly branch lying on a quick stretch of pavement, turns out to be a lounging snake. 

I am happy that the spider webs stretching from tree to tree are mostly bisected by Semi, as the fearless leader.

The Early Bird may get the worms,

but the ride leader gets the spiders.

If you’ve gone out on your bike, seeking dirt to ride in Melbourne, then you’ve probably been on the Melbourne safari often enough to be bored with it.  But if you're looking for the feel of being out of town (or maybe off planet), then give this route a go round at night.  Bum Trails to Airport Trails to Melbourne Village.  End it with a cruise through the spider kingdom alongside Hibiscus Blvd.

There’s bound to be a Map My Ride if you need electronic guidance.

But I recommend the guidance of Semi. 

And the company of mountain bikers.

With a Beef O' Brady ending to wash the spiders away.

Were those 2 for $5 pitchers?  Could that possibly be right?  

Now there’s some awesome time travel.


PS  Thanks, Gadget Guru, for giving us that copy of Idiocracy a few years back.

*Idiocracy: a 2006 American film, satirical science fiction comedy, directed by Mike Judge and starring Luke Wilson. The short story inspiration was "The Marching Morons", a science fiction short story written by Cyril M. Kornbluth, originally published in Galaxy, April, 1951.  (Wikepedia)